After a couple of weeks of discombobulation, nothing major, just a general feeling of malaise, I once again feel centered. (I really hate that phrase because, truly one is never off-center if you believe everything is happening the way its designed. Sorry, I digress.)
I have a big event at work in about a month and have found myself waking up at 4 a.m. the past few nights worrying that it won't come together. On Monday and Tuesday of this past week I watched "Half the Sky" on PBS and afterward felt that I clearly don't do enough to justify my existence on this planet. On Wednesday, along with most of the country, I watched the Presidential Debate and afterward felt, not hopeful, but disappointed. And I've taken on a new part-time job and am worried that it will bite into my relatively lax lifestyle.
I have a couple of mantras that I've clung to for years that have served me well but, like everyone, I get sidetracked and forget them when I get overwhelmed with life. The first one is 'Everything happens for a reason.' Trite, to some, but to me those five words have gotten me through some difficult times. The second is 'Whatever needs to happen will happen.' This second mantra I put into play while at United Way when I felt responsible for the $4 million dollars a year we raised at that time along with every campaign, every event and generally a little too much to be honest. This second mantra serves me well as an event planner responsible for a nice chunk of fundraising but also for every donor's experience at any of our events.
Here in my beautiful town the temperature got down low enough this week for me to justify turning on my furnace. I had forgotten that at the end of winter this spring I came home to a 90 degree house as the furnace had kicked on and stayed on all day while I was away. So this week when I turned it on and it stayed on I immediately went to the worst case scenario where I'd need a new furnace costing thousands of dollars or at the very minimum I'd need to call a tech to have it looked at which would cost a couple hundred dollars. As you know, I've recently started my Total Money Makeover and don't quite have my $1000 emergency fund established so was totally worried about having to put whatever this furnace repair would cost on my credit card.
On Friday, I got home from work and immediately headed out for a run in the wonderfully cold air. As I was running I realized that my furnace is probably fine. It kicks on and off and I had it inspected last year. It came to me that the problem is probably the thermostat! This device looks to be as old as my house, about 35 years or so. So yesterday I went a purchased a new thermostat, for $26, and will install it today. It really think this is the issue - have total confidence in this in fact.
After that run my general malaise disappeared. Certainly, the run itself is therapeutic, but more importantly my mind was quiet for about an hour and I could see more clearly. The gala will come together just fine and no matter what I do with my life, I'm doing enough. Whichever man becomes our next President, life will go on and the new gig is purposeful and short term. I can do anything for a month and my naps can wait for 30 days.
Today at church Lynn talked about peace of mind. Truly, when you have peace of mind, everything seems to fall into place.
btw - if you haven't seen "Half the Sky" please put it on our list. Incredible. Sad. Transformative. Important.