Sunday, April 7, 2013

Bore, Bored, Boring...

I've always said, to myself mostly, that if you're bored, it's your own fault.  I tend to believe this but lately I've questioned this conventional wisdom.  Is being bored a function of my own inadequacies or is it something put upon me by an apathetic society? Or, is being bored just part of the human condition?

I fill my time with a lot of activity, most of it super awesome, some of it a time filler. I recently learned to sew and this was fulfilling for awhile, now it just seems sad to be sitting at home on a Friday night with my sewing machine. I combat this sad feeling by making stuff for others. Everything I sew, I give away. Somehow this makes it better, but clearly not all better.

I mentioned being bored out of my mind to a friend yesterday and he asked me if it was that I was truly bored or was I just tired of doing stuff by myself, with no one to share it with? Now there's a question for ya.  As an only child, I've been able to hang by myself my whole life without problem. I love traveling alone, going to movies alone, riding and running alone, living alone, etc.  But lately, while I still enjoy doing things by myself, I just haven't gotten that fulfilled feeling I've become accustomed to. I can't control having someone to share my life with (I suppose I could buy someone's affection but I'm broke and I think it's illegal anyway?) so I need to change my attitude about this bored feeling I've been carrying around.

I also get really tired of all the navel gazing. When you do everything by yourself, you spend a lot of time thinking about...yourself. I'm fucking bored with me. I want to think about someone else for a change.

Maybe being bored is just a prelude to something fantastic? Today, I'm going to choose to bend that bored feeling into something else. Not sure what yet, but I'll figure it out. Maybe on that bike ride that I'm doing later today...alone.

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